"Joyful Pessimism: A Memoir of Sex, Mental Illness, and Philosophy" - Table of Contents

My memoir Joyful Pessimism has plenty of real-life sex and philosophical pessimism in it, but I’ve decided to spice it up with even more sex and philosophical pessimism—which hasn’t even occurred yet—via a dystopian erotic novella. The novella is entitled Ishtar’s Angel, and takes place in 2033 after an economic collapse due to AI takeover. It is narrated by one Daemon Derriere.

The chapters of the book alternate between my memoir Joyful Pessimism (true) and the novella Ishtar’s Angel narrated by Daemon (hopefully never true), and are clearly labeled.

The interweaving narratives deal with topics including: the AI jobpocalypse, BDSM, psychedelics, witch worship, bipolar, anti-porn feminism vs. sex work decriminalization, ancient and future temple prostitution, goddess worship, philosophical pessimism, antinatalism, biomisia, assisted suicide, economic collapse, bitcoin, the breakdown of the nation-state and the rise of neo-feudalism: and how to survive it all with gallows humor.

Though they are intended to be read intertwined as below (for creative tension), the plots of the memoir and the novella do not depend on each other and can be read independently if you prefer.

Here’s what I’ve written so far (as of June 17, 2023):

• Ishtar’s Angel, Chapter 1: A Gynocentric Gang of Winsome Warlordettes

• Joyful Pessimism, Chapter 1: The Horny Ecofeminist

• Ishtar’s Angel, Chapter 2: The End of the Male Sexual Cartel

• Joyful Pessimism, Chapter 2: Manic Obsessive & Status Depressive

• Ishtar’s Angel, Chapter 3: Brilliance & Booty

• Ishtar’s Angel, Chapter 4: The Mistress of Sorceries & the Temple of Ashtaroth

Author’s Note: Most names and identifying details in my memoir Joyful Pessimism have been changed. One character in the memoir, my therapist “Shoshanna,” is a composite of several therapists—I’ve had many! Thus, my conversations with “Shoshanna” are composites as well, based on many conversations I’ve had with different therapists.

For reference in the memoir timeline, I was born on May 12, 1977.

Dedications

To my father Daniel, who gave me the pessimism I cherish,
and to my mother Patricia, who gave me the joy I once resisted:

You showed me unconditional love.
Why is that so rare on this planet?

To my great writing mentor, Tom Farber:
Thank you for caring about my writing for over two decades.

To Onyx:

You gave me the confidence to embrace my writing voice fully.
This book would not exist in its present form without you, and I will always be grateful to you for that.

Our love was doomed, but its decadence destroyed my doubt.
Your cauldron conjured this creation.